Bower

The man sat at the table, his steady gaze never leaving the door. He had been there that way for the past twenty minutes. He had been to office after a month that morning, but was not able to concentrate on work. So, he was there back home.
But only he was there at home.
He looked around the home as it was the first time in years he was getting to look at it.
This was the same home that had promised to fulfill his dreams. This was the same home in which he discovered new things about himself and his life.
Wasn't this the same place where he fell in love with Sunitha?
Now the name brought to him a flurry of memories and emotions.
He thoughtfully picked the coffee cup that was at the corner of the table.
Vinay was a young business man. To him his world of business had meant more than everything, only until he had met Sunitha.
She was the only woman in his life. She had brought changes in every aspect of his life. He had literally turned a new page. The changes were very visible and though friends made fun, they were indeed happy for such changes.


Vinay had met Sunitha at a friend's place. She was all surrounded by kids at his friend's birthday party. Vinay could not help keep looking at Sunitha whenever he heard the group laugh aloud. He was jealous as it was many days since he had laughed aloud like that.
It was not much later that he managed to find reasons to keep going back to his friend's place. It happened inevitably as he planned that they got to know each other and over a couple of months, a personal friendship developed.
Vinay made himself personal time for the first time in his life and that seemed as exciting as business was. He began laughing aloud. One by one everything followed. Sunitha brought laughter, music, books, cards and flowers into his life.

Vinay looked around the home with a sigh. Sunitha had named it 'bower'. She had said that bower was a very sweet and romantic name for a home. But somehow he had never managed to understand in what way.

The wonderful moment to which he was looking back to now had happened some two years back in this same 'bower'.

One fine afternoon, Sunitha had had a sudden wish to meet Vinay. She went to his office. But he had not been there.
Vinay had been then building his first own home, which was later to become 'bower'.
Having got the address from his office secretary, Sunitha had drove straight to the construction site where she found him.
Vinay was surprised to find her there. He was indeed happy.
He showed her around the place. She wanted to know every thing about the house. And what else was he there for but to explain everything that she needed to know.
Even after an hour of showing around the place, she did not seem to be satisfied. She left Vinay to go around the place herself. It was as if she wanted to go to every nook and corner of the home and see every thing of it.
Vinay left her alone but his eyes never did. They followed her and her every expression. She was as a child. She was excited. And he could never take his eyes off her.
Finally she had had her own time and walked back towards him. As he saw her walking towards him, sudden thoughts had hit his mind.
Vinay saw everything fall in place. Now he knew that he was in love. He also knew that this was the moment to tell her that. This was the perfect place.
Sunitha came with her ever glorious smile. She sat down next to him on the concrete.
"That's a wonderful home that you are building, Vinay."
"Do you like it?"
"Oh, I simply love it. I wish it were mine...."
"Well, it can be yours. I mean it could be our home."

That had been his proposal. He knew it was not a romantic setting.He had not even said 'I love you' as anybody else would have.
He was a bit too straight. She was not prepared for it. It came as sudden as a shock on her. And it was also very well understandable that she made excuses and moved off.

Seated at his table, Vinay smiled to himself. A smile that didi not have a trace of joy in it.

There had been complete silence between the two for three whole days. No single word was exchanged.
Vinay could not think of taking the first step to contact her. He was not ready to bear a refusal. He was clueless as to what was to be done.
Three days later, he was back at the building site.
There, Sunitha was waiting for him.
"What on earth made you stay away from this beautiful place for three whole days?"
"Do you mean to say that you were here all three days?"
"Of course i was. I was waiting for you to turn up. You were getting me really worried..."
The rest of her words were burried by her urgent need to blush. Vinay was smiling at her.

From then on, she was to become a part of his life. Their love developed as the home was built. They had great pleasure in making the home together. They would come in the evenings after the workers had left just to feel how their dream was taking shape.
Sunitha was fastidious about everything about the home. She thought over even minute details a lot.
"I do not want a sofa set Vinay. That would be too formal. Let's make it a diwan setting."
"Vinay, why dont we go for some chairs in the garden?"
"The bedroom should have vibrant colours. Not these off-white ones."
She wanted each aspect of it to be perfect.

"Sunitha, I want us married when this home is made. We'll come to live here together."
Her answer had been a wonderful smile that he would never forget. There were contented tears in her eyes. He reached out to her.
They had silently held hands the whole of that evening.

There was much to think of for Vinay these days. His mind went back to the day when they had first stepped inside this home, newly wed, to make it a 'bower'.

The emotions had been so intense that they just sat down in each other's arms.
Vinay had muttered a silent prayer that this love and contentment stay with them forever.
Somebody must have heard him then. Somebody must have heard him and were really jealous of them.

Vinay got up from his place and walked to the nursery that was there on the first floor.
He opened the door and warm air blew on his face. He went towards the cradle and gently rocked it.
The home took up the sound and continued to rock it.

Sunitha had been fully pregnant when they went shopping for the cradle. Sunitha had made a tough choice on it. She was not entirely pleased with this one. But then, when she walked out of the shop, another pregnant woman came to them.
"Excuse me. Could I have your cradle for a moment to show the shopkeeper? I want a similar one made."
But Sunitha had refused.
Later when Vinay asked her why she dint lend it, she replied
"Vinay, how do you expect me to do it? It is for our baby. I don want anybody else's to be the same."
"But Sunitha, I dont understand. You dint seem very happy with it till the woman asked you for the cradle."
She had come near him, put her hands around him and said, "Vinay, I love making people jealous of what i have."

Yes. That was what had happened. Somebody had been really jealous of them.
Vinay came down, shut the door and walked past the pooja room.
He had given up prayers for a month now.
Sunitha was dead for a month now.
He had a serious supposition that it was God who had been jealous of them.

"Mr. Vinay. We are really sorry. We could not save the baby."
It had been a boy.
But Vinay did not mind the loss. All he was worried of was Sunitha.
But it seemed as though Sunitha was more worried for her baby. Not wanting to leave the baby alone in another world, she followed him.

Vinay had inconsolable for many days. His friends and relatives had tried consoling him but in vain.
"Vinay. You are not a baby. You are a man. Learn to control your feelings."
This was one of the rebuke he had recieved when he refused to come out of his grief.
How can they understand?
Even she had not understood him.
Was she not his mother?
How could she leave him?
Was she not worried about him?

Vinay sat at the table. Tears flowed down his cheeks.
"I can not forget you Sunitha. I dont think I ever can. I remember everything vividly because of your absence. Come back. I need you."

'Bower' was leafless now. Vinay understood why Sunitha had named it 'bower'.